Thursday, January 25, 2007
Is it a freaking full moon???
The Universe sent this to me in my email today. It was probably the best thing that could possibly have been sent.

Permission, Marissa, is what you give yourself.

I give you everything else.

The Universe

The reason is that I got a call last night from my brother around 11 pm. (Some of you may know what that means, if not see (can't find the patience to find the link right now) He was screaming bloody murder, saying he couldn't take it any more and didn't want to live. (he has tried this before) I tried to calm him down, but he wouldn't talk to me. Then he hung up on me. I called my mom to see what was going on and apparently they had gotten into yet another fight. She had just paid for his tuition at school (our local community college) and they made a deal that she would give him $1000 for his books as his birthday gift (His birthday is Saturday.) Then their dog had gotten loose yesterday and my mom couldn't look any longer for him or she would be late to work. So she had called my brother to go home and see if the dog came home and let him in. She got his vm so she called me to call him. I called and left a message also. He never called me back but I called him again @ 2 pm to check and the dog had come home and he let him in. He seemed fine at that time (which was good considering the other story below) so I called my mom to let her know so she wouldn't worry and left her a vm. Apparently when my brother had come home from work my mom asked him to let the dog out and feed him. This set my brother off and the argument devolved into the fact that he was pissed because she wasn't getting him a birthday present. !!!!!!! My mom said if you don't appreciate what I give you then you can just leave. So he did. Then he called me wanting me to fix everything. I don't know what he wanted me to do about the situation. He was upset because he was saying he couldn't live on $500 every two weeks and he wasn't going to one of those people wondering where his next French fry was coming from and if he had to live like that he would rather be dead. Now, my family is not wealthy in any sense, and we have not had much in my life, but my single mom has always provided us food in our bellies, a roof over our head, and clothes on our backs. Yes she has complained about her struggle nearly every day of our lives, but it was always there. My brother has benefited most from my mom and I breaking our backs though. He is eight years younger than me and was still in elementary school when I graduated high school. I have had a job since I was 16 and always gave my mom money for the household in addition to paying for my own car, car insurance, tuition (federal tuition assistance, so why isn't he doing that) and books. I had to go on unemployment at 20 years old after I got laid off because I had bills to pay and my mom couldn't help me. I never had a cell phone till I was married and to this day I shop at walmart for my clothes. He on the other hand, has a cell phone, a car my mom bought him after he totaled his first car the day he got his license, designer clothes, and all he contributes is his cell bill and his car insurance. And he is still mad that my mom doesn't give him money constantly. I am amazed at how different he and I are. The thing is he and my mom are exactly the same and my and my mom are total opposites. They are very materialistic.

So I listened to both their sides and basically said nothing to get involved. Which was the best thing I could have done (give myself permission to not get involved). Even though I worried myself sick till 3 am last night ( I have had this weird pressure in my head all day today, I have to call the doctor tomorrow) My mom called me tonight to tell me everything was all right and was pretty much back to normal. Go figure, It must be a freaking full moon!

So the other story I have to tell is that about a week ago my mom calls me. Now she and I have not had the best relationship but we are working on it and she seems genuinely happy to be having a grandchild. So she says to me, "I don't want to upset you in your condition but we're a little upset that you didn't pick your brother to be the baby's godfather." ?!?!?!?!? My husband picked his brother to be the godfather SIX MONTHS AGO! And we told everyone. Granted we picked my husband's sister to be the godmother (he only has the two siblings) but that was for two reasons: 1) I don't really have any close girlfriends and 2) Her mother had passed away and we thought it would give her something to look forward too. Not a peep from my mom or brother at the time (Oct about). My mom was upset and said my brother was upset also that I didn't pick my only brother as the baby's godfather. Considering the story above (which is pretty regular) would you have made a different decision. I tried to explain that to my mom but it got heated. I told her we weren't going to change our minds, and the subject hasn't been broached since. I talked to my brother the other day (even though I didn't ask him about that) and he seemed fine, even downright pleasant, which he very rarely is with me. So I don't think it was him, I think it was my mom who was upset. Basically since I have been dating Hubs (eight years, almost four married) she has been upset that she thinks I favor his family. I don't. They just don't get riled up about EVERY SINGLE FREAKING THING!!!!!!!


I am officially brain fried right now so I am going to sleep. Anyone with any words of wisdom feel free to comment. I leave you with a phrase my s-i-l told me tonight:

Life is a crap sandwich... Take a bite! ;)
posted by ~M~ @ 4:06 PM  
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