Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tids & Bits
I have tried not to watch or read too much about the Virginia Tech shooting. It is too upsetting to me. Even though the family and friends of the victims are in my prayers. Does anyone else feel this way?

The Supreme Court voted the other day to uphold the partial birth abortion ban. This is also very upsetting to me because I believe us women should always have the right to choose what goes on with their own bodies. Sometimes it is the only thing we have control over.

A couple local fire districts just audited were found to have paid for Playboy channels at some firehouses. Is it wrong of me to be outraged at the misuse of our tax dollars while snickering to myself about the way?

I am finally starting to feel better. I was in so much pain it amazed me. But things are getting much better.

Cash is seven weeks old today! Yay!

posted by ~M~ @ 8:36 PM   3 comments
Thursday, April 12, 2007
No Taxation without Representation!
I officially hate taxes.

I have e-filed my Federal taxes and had them direst deposited into my bank account which should be happening in about 4 hours and 15 minutes. It was great! I used Turbo Tax online which was free and was so easy to use. I decided to do the taxes myself this year because we just couldn't spare the $70 dollars to have it done, like we have since we got married and started filing jointly. I did our taxes before that. It was fairly simple if you were careful. BUT, with Turbo Tax, you cannot fill out, print, or e-file your state taxes unless you pay $30. SO state has waited. And waited. And waited. And now I just sat down to try and get through them considering they are due by Tuesday, and my envelope with all eight of our W2's and both 1099's IS GONE! And I am alone in the house, except for Cash who doesn't talk yet, so I can't ask anyone if they have seen them.

GRRRRRRR!

Oh and RIP Kurt Vonnegut.
posted by ~M~ @ 7:46 PM   2 comments
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
More Cuteness cause I'm still in pain... Grrrrrrr!
Word Up, Yo!


Auntie Manda and Cash taking a nap


posted by ~M~ @ 6:34 PM   3 comments
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Win with me!
Win Free Prizes

Thanks Fidget!
posted by ~M~ @ 9:56 PM   1 comments
Friday, March 23, 2007
More cuteness
BTW... Hubs is feeling better. Still tired and a bit stressed but more like himself. Thank Goodness. I missed him.

And now for the cuteness:

Daddy and Cash
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posted by ~M~ @ 10:21 AM   1 comments
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Hmmm...
I have been making my rounds of the blogworld this evening (or rather this morning because it is now 1:59 AM and I can't sleep) and one interesting theme that seems to be abounding is the issue of whether to tell people you know in real like about your blog. I, in my early days of inexperienced blogging, told a couple of people about my blog. Some of them looked, some of them didn't. Then I started to blog in earnest about some of the issues I was having in my life. I was then thankful that most people don't know I have a blog because then I could get advise and encouragement from all you guys about how to deal with them. I was never tempted again to spread the word about my blog. ALso it has allowed me to make other friends in the blogworld.

WARNING ~ POSSIBLE TMI ON THE WAY!

That said, I have been a bit on edge the past couple of days. Sunday was Hub's birthday. He turned 29. It was also the baby's first day in his crib and my first day back in my own bed. I had spent the last two weeks sleeping on the couch with the baby in the pack & play in the living room because I was too much in pain to climb into bed. I have a captains bed which is pretty high and it was so difficult to get up into. Now, Hubs and I have sort of fallen into a schedule. He works 8 am until 4 pm, Monday thru Thursday and 7:30 am until 3:30 pm on Fridays. Because he had to go back to work, I have taken on the baby night shift and I let him sleep at night. Then I am with the baby when he is at work, and I try to get some sleep then when the baby sleeps. Then after he runs all the errands and chauffeurs his sister and brother he gets the baby in the evenings. He has been a bit upset that he doesn't get to see the baby that much during the week so on his birthday, he got the baby all day (except most feedings, since I'm breastfeeding) and I got some sleep. He said that was the best birthday present ever. I was glad at that. So when it came time to put the baby down, we put him in the crib and we went to go lay down. We were watching tv and Hubs kind of went to make a move on me and I stiffened. I am still in pain and besides the doctor said to wait a minimum of six weeks. I felt bad. Then Hubs kind of started talking about how he doesn't want me to lose myself in this baby and he can kind of see it already. I tried to reassure him that it was just that I was still in pain and extremely tired, that I wasn't acting completely myself yet. Now for the past couple of days hubs has been distant and seems angry. I am trying not to get too upset about it because there are a myriad of reasons why he could be upset.

1. Because he's tired and stressed. He has been running all the errands and chauffeuring, which has been my job. His brother and sister both do not drive yet and his sister does not go to school in our district so she needs to be driven to and picked up from school, work and gymnastics practice, in addition to track on Saturdays and driver's ed on Sundays. And his brother needs to be taken to work, which is only about a mile away but it's been freezing here lately so we're not going to make him walk.
2. He is upset about his mom. Very possible but he will NEVER admit this one, which is ok.
3. He is upset with me about the sex thing. Possible but hopefully and mostly not likely.
4. He is upset about turning 29. A stretch but I'm grasping at straws here.

I did talk to a friend online tonight who is Hubs best friend. He said to just let Hubs deal with whatever is bothering him and he will be ok. I am trying but it is very hard to not have him completely here with me at this time of transition.

Repeat: It will be ok. It will be ok.
posted by ~M~ @ 1:56 AM   1 comments
Friday, March 16, 2007
Back by popular demand...
Fidget has demanded more pictures of Cash so here we are. Oh and baby's belly button fell off today! Yay, he's growing up so fast. :)

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
posted by ~M~ @ 12:09 AM   6 comments
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Cash's Birth Story
I have waited so long for the opportunity to be able to tell my own birth story! How exciting! :)

Si I first started having contractions on Thursday March 1. I woke up at 5:30 am with my back hurting and didn't quite think anything of it. For a couple of weeks I had been waking up like that due to the fact that I sleep on my side and my leg would fall asleep, so I would wake up and turn to the other side. Pillows would annoy me even more so I just dealt with the uncomfortableness. (is that a word?) Besides I was pregnant, so I made my peace with the fact that I was going to be uncomfortable. So on Thursday when I woke up I kind of turned a few times and then as I started to wake up I was thinking, "These pains are coming kind of regularly. Maybe they are contractions." Hubs was waking up as well because he had to go to work. Now Hubs and I share on car so I usually drive him to work and also drive my sister in law to school in the mornings. I let Hubs know I thought I was having contractions but they were 10 to 15 minutes apart. At my last doctor's appointment on Tuesday, the midwives had told me to give them a call once the contractions were 5 minutes apart for an hour, so I wasn't overly concerned. I took Hubs to work and sis to school and then came home. My brother in law was home with me, just in case. :) Then my mom called to check on me like she had been doing for the last week. I told her I think I'm having contractions and she got all excited. I told her I would call her if anything. Then I sat down and went on the computer a bit. About 9 am my brother called and asked if I could pick him up at school and take him to where my mom worked (he had gotten into an accident a couple days before and didn't have his car). I said sure as long as it was not too late. He said about noonish. I also had to take my brother in law to take a drug test for a new job he got. We had to wait till after ten when the lab opened. So I took him and as I was waiting I was making my list of who to call once I went to the hospital and who to call once the baby was born. Then I went to pick up my brother and take him to my mom's work. It ended up that my mom had taken the rest of the day off to hang out with me and my brother took her car to go to work. We ended up back at my house. Then for about two hours we watched TV and every time I went to the bathroom, my mom would ask if my water broke. I finally said, "Mom, you would know if my water broke! Relax." Around 1:30 pm my mom suggested that we take a ride up to the mall to walk around. I hadn't had a contraction since 11:15 am so I was open to the idea. So we did. I also had to go pick up my sister in law at school at 3 pm. So I was gallivanting all over the place. Then we came home and hubs got a ride home with a friend of ours,Alice, who he works with and who was my labor coach. Then I had to take my mom to her class at 5 pm. In between I had one more contraction at 4 pm. Then that was it for the rest of the day.
Friday I woke up at 5:30 am again with contractions. (And the baby has been up at 5:30 am everyday since ;) This time though, they were much more intense than the day before. I had to crouch on my hands and knees every time. I finally woke Hubs up and told him that I wouldn't be able to drive by myself, so he might want to wake his brother to come with us. I don't know what I was smoking talking like that, because I was in absolutely no condition to drive. Fortunately, Hubs totally saw that and said he was taking the car. The contractions were still 10 to 15 minutes apart so he decided to go to work and he had to take his sis to school. He made me promise to call him if the contractions got any closer together. And my brother in law was here with me, so I wasn't alone. All Friday I had contractions. They varied in time from 30 minutes apart to ten minutes apart. When hubs and Alice got home later that afternoon, I had set up shop on the couch in the living room and was trying to sleep between contractions. The sleep thing wasn't working so well though. Around 9 pm, Alice suggested we take a walk around the block. We did and it was nice but I feel much change. Then Alice went home for the night and I plopped myself on the couch with the TV remote and some ice water (It really does help!) The contractions continued all night and into the next morning. Around 6 am on Saturday the contractions got down to around 5 minutes apart and I called the midwife. She said alright let me call the midwife at the hospital and let her know you are coming. She said they would call me back to speak to me. I called my mom and Alice to tell them. Then... the midwife from the hospital called back and said they really don't want you to come in until the contractions are 3 minutes apart. At this point she said I would probably just come in and they would send me home. I was pissed. There are no other words. I really felt like I needed to go but anyway. So I called my mom and Alice quick and told them and then tried to lay back and relax. I tried to sleep for most of the day which was quite impossible due to the fact that the contractions stayed around 5-7 minutes apart all day. Luckily, my family fluttered around me trying to make sure I was comfortable, hydrated and doing alright. Alice came by around6 pm and Hubs was making dinner around that time. She suggested we start walking. By now the contractions were much more intense so we decided to just walk up and down the dead end I live on. The first walk brought the contractions back to 5 minutes consistently. Then we went in to have dinner. Hubs had made pork chops, carrots and rice. They made me eat most of it. It was good but sitting at the kitchen table was really uncomfortable so I bolted back to the couch as soon as I could. I sat for about an hour and then Alice had me walking again. She sat with me all night and has a nice hand sized bruise on her leg to prove it. Whenever I would have a contraction I would squeeze her thigh. She was a trooper about it though. Then about 3 am, I really started to break down. I had gone to the bathroom and when I wiped I could have sworn, I was touching the baby's head. I kind of begged Alice to call the midwife back even though I had never really made it past 4 minutes apart. She heard the desperation in my voice and gave them a call. We kind of fudged the numbers at that point, telling the midwife on call that the contractions were between three and six minutes apart. The midwife fortunately said that considering how long I had been having contractions, I should come in and be looked at. I was filled with relief at that point. So we woke up hubs and got ready to go. At the last minute I grabbed my pillow and blanket, which was to come in handy later. The ride to the hospital was uneventful but as I was having each contraction I couldn't lift myself up to ease the pain so it was difficult. Then the hospital we were going to is renovating so there was a long walk up to the front door and no wheelchair right out front. Talk about your climbing the last mountain. Once we got up to the hospital I fell into the nearest wheelchair and we waited for Hubs to park the car and meet us. Once he got there we made our way to the maternity floor. We got in checked in and they put me into an assessment room. The nurse came in and had me put on this belly band that looked like a bandeau top, so they could monitor the baby's heartbeat and my contractions. It hurt like hell to have anything on my belly but I figured I had to deal with it for the time being. The chair I was sitting in was so uncomfortable and hard too, kind of like a dentist's chair, so contractions were torture. Then she took a whole bunch of information. Finally the midwife came in and did an exam. She looked up at me with the biggest look of surprise on her face and said to me, "You are 5-6 cm dilated! You get to stay." I almost cried with relief at that point. I had been up for 48 hours straight and was in so much pain. The midwife asked me if I wanted something for the pain and the answer was an exuberant YES! I had luckily set up a birth plan and had decided to try and avoid an epidural but was open to the possibility of a shot of Stadol (which is a generic form of Demerol). They then wheeled me into one of the labor and delivery rooms and Hubs went to go call everyone. The anesthesiologist came into give me the shot and the last thing I remember is watching him inject the medicine into my IV and thinking, "He's not even pushing the plunger!" Then Hubs came back in and I tried to say something to him and my lips wouldn't work properly. I can't help but laugh over that memory. I apparently woke up about four hours later out of the deepest most restful sleep I had had in months, years even! I remember I could feel my contractions before I was even fully awake and mobile. That was a weird feeling. It was about 8 am at this point. Then next hour went by in a blur. In this middle of that the midwives had changed shifts and the midwife I had hoped to deliver my baby came on. There is a team of midwives and when we went for the meet and greet there was one in particular that I really liked. Her name was Heather and she was this black Jamaican lady who just had the happiest but totally realistic outlook on birth and life in general. I was so relaxed at this point but then I started feeling like I had to push so I yelled for the midwife. My water had still not broken by this point but I think I was 8 cm dilated and 100% effaced so the midwife decided to break my water. THAT I can tell you was one of the weirdest feelings I've ever felt. After that labor progressed very quickly. At first I wasn't pushing very effectively. I was growling too much. ;) But I fixed that pretty quickly. Hubs was at my side the whole time, rooting me on. Once the baby's head and shoulders came out, the midwife said to me reach down. I though she wanted me to reach down and feel the baby's head, like I've seen the doctor's do on TLC's A Baby Story. So I reached my hand under my leg and apparently almost poked the baby in the eye. He was saved by Hubs. What the midwife actually wanted was for me to reach down with both hands and grab the baby and pull him to me and put him on my chest. Which I did. He was screaming and messy and warm and the most beautiful thing in the world. I kissed him and Hubs Kissed him and then I kissed Hubs. That was probably the greatest feeling in the world other than the day I got married. Then the midwife asked Hubs if he wanted to cut the cord. He turned a bit green from what the told me but he did it. I am so proud of him. He was a rock in the delivery room. And he hates that kind of stuff. Then they took the baby to the other side of the room to clean him off and check him out. He then proceeded to pee on the midwife. That's my boy! I am so happy Cash Joseph is here and it is so wonderful to see him and daddy together.
posted by ~M~ @ 2:52 AM   3 comments
Friday, March 09, 2007
One Handed
So here I am... blogging one handed at 2 am. Little did I know a year ago, as I read all of your blogs about the same thing, that I would be here now. I feel so blessed and I can't believe I love this little man so much! It literally makes me cry with joy. (Though that could be the hormones as well ;) I am just so happy though very tired.
posted by ~M~ @ 2:20 AM   3 comments
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Cash is Here!
Thanks for all your comments! Cash Joseph arrived right on time, my due date, March 4, 2007. I was in labor pretty much from the last time I posted until he was born at 10:04 am. Almost 48 hours! I made it though and we now have a beautiful baby boy. He was 7 lbs. 9 ounces and 20 1/2 inches long. And he is absolutely beautiful and such a good baby!

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posted by ~M~ @ 9:14 PM   2 comments
Friday, March 02, 2007
Update!
FYI... I have been having contractions since yesterday morning. They haven't gotten closer than ten minutes apart but hopefully they will soon. And the next time I will be talking to you will be with a beautiful baby boy on my lap. Wish me luck!
posted by ~M~ @ 6:38 PM   3 comments
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Ch, Ch, Ch, Changes...
As I sit and wait to go into labor (15 days and counting), I have been thinking alot lately about old times. Back in high school (almost ten years ago), and even only a few years ago, things were so different. I was putzing around on myspace yesterday and came across a few people who I had forgotten even existed but at one time had been part of some memorable times in my life. The first one I noticed is this guy who basically changed the course of my high school social scene. Basically the story goes, a friend of mine was having a sweet sixteen party. She was a couple years older than me (I was in ninth grade). I didn't have a date, it was a boy girl thing and that was the big deal about the party. So she decided to set me up with her cousin. She gave me a picture (he was very hot!) and my best friend started talking to him on the phone to kind of get us together. I was so shy back then. Well it ended up that the night of her party we had a big snowstorm and he couldn't make it to the party. I was bummed but had fun anyway. My best friend said she would hook us up anyway (in a 1994 sense, not a 2007 sense, meaning get us in the same vicinity). In the meantime she was talking to him on the phone all the time and apparently falling for him herself, which I could sense but didn't fully realize (being only 14). Then one day I went over her house for a sleepover and he came over and we kind of walked around our town and hung out. He and I got along great and apparently he thought I was cute. I even gave him one of my dangly earrings to wear (btw, which I never got back). Then we went back to my best friend's house and hung out in her room with the lights out and the music on. And he and I made out. He was quite the good kisser and I had fun. He then left, and we all went to bed. The next morning I was feeling guilty so I told my friend, and she freaked out. She had her dad drive me home and for weeks afterward we fought. We even went to peer mediation in school because we couldn't stop fighting. Basically after that I was out of the group of friends I had had for a few years. I was never invited to hang out with them anymore and it just went from there. So seeing this guys page on myspace brought back a lot of memories. But I think that if this had never happened, I would never have done the activities I did in high school which led to me meeting my husband. So it's all for the best anyway. It's just interesting to think about. Then there was the boyfriend that I has my senior year. He was two years younger than me and suck a d**kwad. He cheated on me, because I wouldn't sleep with him and basically treated me like crap. But not outwardly, like calling names or anything. Just subtle ways like withholding pda's if I annoyed him in any way. I was very much into journaling back then and I have six or seven notebooks full of the few months I was with him. I almost didn't graduate because I cut so many classes to be with him. Then he posted a blog on his myspace about how he is a changed man and he was just looking for someone to love him. And how he's cheated on every single girlfriend (and two fiancee's) he's had. It makes me very glad to have gotten away from him and found the best man in the world. My hubby, who always makes me feel loved and like the most important thing in the world. I guess I am just transitioning into this next phase of my life, parenthood, and wondering what it's going to be like. I feel I am truly blessed and so happy.
posted by ~M~ @ 9:55 PM   1 comments
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