Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I should have known...
"The single greatest power in the world today is the power to change." That was my Morning Inspiration quote of the day. I really fucking needed it. I should have known what was bothering me. It was the one thing that I was thinking about all yeaterday but I don't know what to do about it. I had a fight with my brother over the weekend. Not exactly a fight. He got into an argument with my mom *they still live together* and called me and told me to tell her, "What the fuck is her problem!" I refused because 1. I didn't know what happened or what was said. and 2. I am not going to do what he says all the time.

Ok a bit of background:

I am 25, my brother is 17, my mom is 48. I have always been more like a mom to my brother because my mom is a single mom and worked alot when we were younger. I have tried to shield him from alot. I realize now that was not the right thing to do because he has trouble dealing with situations on his own. One of those things being my mom. My mom and I went through a long time where we were at odds, and we have come to a tentative truce. My brother is right at the beginning of that. I have tried to talk to him and give him pointers on how to deal with things but he wants me to do it for him. I have tried but it just puts me into the middle of the situation and I get pushed and pulled and I feel horrible. I have decided that is not going to happen anymore. I am not a punching bag.

So when my brother called last weekend, and said that, I tried to find out what exactly was said to try and give him some advice on how to handle the situation. He was having none of that. There was yelling and much hanging up on each other. I want to help him but he wants me to do it for him. So I really haven't talked to him since then. I tried to contact him by IM but he didn't want to talk to me.

Then last night I had a nightmare. I dreamt that I was in an amusement park with my mom and brother. Then a tornado came and I was trying to make sure my brother stayed with me so he would be safe. He kept getting lost and I was so upset trying to find him. I don't know what I would do if I lost my brother. :(

I love him so much. That will never change. I just hope he loves me.
posted by ~M~ @ 9:17 AM  
  • At September 7, 2005 at 10:47:00 AM EDT, Blogger Tammy said…

    He loves you. He is a teenager. He'll get over it.

    My sister and my mom all live close together. Whenever one of has a quirl with the other, the third one always just has to listen to both sides and not butt in.

    That's the best advice I can give you. Just listen to both, sympathize with both, but stay out of it.

  • At September 7, 2005 at 1:20:00 PM EDT, Blogger Queenie said…

    Ah, the family drama...
    Reminds me a lot of my sister and my mother, who always try to use me as an intermidiary, even though I live in WA and they both live minutes away from each other in CA.
    I agree with teh, best is to listen, thank god that it's not you, and try to stay out of it.

  • At September 7, 2005 at 2:04:00 PM EDT, Blogger AnthonyLemons said…

    I hate dreams like that. Great blog

  • At September 7, 2005 at 8:48:00 PM EDT, Anonymous OldGuy said…

    I'm sure he loves you Ruby but he has to learn to deal with life's problems on his own.

    Hang in there !

  • At September 12, 2005 at 2:22:00 PM EDT, Blogger DayByDay4-2Day said…

    Maybe you should look at the long run of it. if you continue to enable him he will not see the consquences of his own actions. We often want to help people when really we are are doing worse by them. Sometimes we have to get out of the way and allow others to do things for themself. So I believe your thinking is wright when you decided to not talk to your mom. Let them work out their diferences themselves.

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