Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Now I didn't actually write this but it says what I've been thinking very clearly. (It came off a bulletin on MySpace) The black part is the only thing I changed, to show some classic music. Everyone probably knows a few of these people. What I want to know is why they are so sad.

"I wonder when people will realize that the "scene" has become homogeneous. It's full of 14 year old girls with uneven bangs, black and white striped shirts, and tattered low-top black Chuck Taylors, who swoon over homosexual kissing and pathetic whiny lyrics and overuse the symbols.

Their favorite quote is, invariably, "The truth is you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt" because it like, so totally describes their relationship with that one HAWT sophomore who totally ripped their hearts out when they were like, SO in love with him.

Their favorite type of music is, of course, "emo, screamo, and hardcore", three terms which, in their minds, invariably include the bands Taking Back Sunday, Thrice, and Hawthorne Heights.Their AIM screennames often include x's, the words "electrikk", "disaster", or some play on their favorite song from their favorite band, you know, the one they saw on MTV like a couple times, but shouldn't be on MTV because they're like, way too emo for that.

They take hundreds of black and white pictures with way too much contrast of themselves looking plaintively down at the ground, pointing a gun made of their fingers at their heads, or kissing the camera while displaying their expert application of lip gloss around their labret piercing and the thick dark eyeliner that circles their eyes.

They embrace the "dork" that is inside their polished, fashionable exteriors by writing in their LiveJournals or Xangas about how they and their friends had an 'N Sync sing-a-long at one of their sleepovers because, remember, 'N Sync is soooo not popular anymore and they like, sooo wouldn't follow any of the fads of today, so they embrace the fads of yesterday.

They adore "retro fashion", meaning anything from the 80's, because they totally used to wear neon colors and big beaded bracelets, even though they were born in, at the earliest, 1988 and remember jack shit about the fashion and culture of the 80's.

It's full of "emo boys" who often are difficult to differentiate from "emo girls", who have meaningless tattoos even though they're 15, smoke a lot of cigarettes, drink a lot of hard liquor, and are in some shitty band that plays a couple of gigs in someone's basement because they're "too cool to go mainstream" when really, they just suck.

They weigh roughly 90 pounds, wear girls' jeans that hug their asses in just the right places, belts buckled somewhere around the side of their right leg, tight striped 80's style polo shirts or band t-shirts, and skater shoes, even though they don't skate because that's soooo lame.

They write awful poetry about the dark abyss of their souls and how the gun is pointed at their heads, the trigger poised to blast away the bloody memories of a failed romance. They cried when Blink-182 broke up, and they have a secret obsession with Avril Lavigne because, like, she really IS kinda hot even though her music totally sucks.

They spend more time at the mirror than their female counterparts do, making sure that the long black shock of hair at the front of their heads lies covering one eye just so, that their lip piercing is perfectly placed so that it looks hot when they kiss other boys, that their pants are the right degree of tightness so as not to exude gayness.

Emo boys and girls often use the suffix "Xcore" to describe themselves, using a number of adjectives or nouns to accomplish this task. This is a play off hardcore music, or "hXc". Some of these descriptive words include "fashionXcore", "retroXcore", or even "yournamehereXcore."This way of speaking is retarded or nonsensical to everyone else except those "in the scene", but it totally doesn't matter because they're too nonconformistXcore for anyone to truly understand their "scene".

They couldn't name a Janis Joplin, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Led Zeppelin, Who, Kinks, Tom Petty, Ramones, ZZ Top or Beastie Boys song if it came up and bit them on their Gap Jeans-clad asses, and they claim to like the Smiths because Jesse Lacey of Brand New said they were cool.

Sure, they listen to some new "emoXcore" bands, but they're all pretty much the same five bands:
1. Taking Back Sunday
2. Senses Fail
3. My Chemical Romance
4. Hawthorne Heights
5. Story of the Year

To these promising young firecrackers, music takes a backseat to fashion in their scene of choice. Emo girls just want to kiss emo boys, emo boys just want to kiss other emo boys, and they all want to wear tight pants and take lots of pictures of themselves. End of story. Because honestly? It's electrikk!"
posted by ~M~ @ 4:16 PM  
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