Wednesday, March 21, 2007
I have been making my rounds of the blogworld this evening (or rather this morning because it is now 1:59 AM and I can't sleep) and one interesting theme that seems to be abounding is the issue of whether to tell people you know in real like about your blog. I, in my early days of inexperienced blogging, told a couple of people about my blog. Some of them looked, some of them didn't. Then I started to blog in earnest about some of the issues I was having in my life. I was then thankful that most people don't know I have a blog because then I could get advise and encouragement from all you guys about how to deal with them. I was never tempted again to spread the word about my blog. ALso it has allowed me to make other friends in the blogworld.


That said, I have been a bit on edge the past couple of days. Sunday was Hub's birthday. He turned 29. It was also the baby's first day in his crib and my first day back in my own bed. I had spent the last two weeks sleeping on the couch with the baby in the pack & play in the living room because I was too much in pain to climb into bed. I have a captains bed which is pretty high and it was so difficult to get up into. Now, Hubs and I have sort of fallen into a schedule. He works 8 am until 4 pm, Monday thru Thursday and 7:30 am until 3:30 pm on Fridays. Because he had to go back to work, I have taken on the baby night shift and I let him sleep at night. Then I am with the baby when he is at work, and I try to get some sleep then when the baby sleeps. Then after he runs all the errands and chauffeurs his sister and brother he gets the baby in the evenings. He has been a bit upset that he doesn't get to see the baby that much during the week so on his birthday, he got the baby all day (except most feedings, since I'm breastfeeding) and I got some sleep. He said that was the best birthday present ever. I was glad at that. So when it came time to put the baby down, we put him in the crib and we went to go lay down. We were watching tv and Hubs kind of went to make a move on me and I stiffened. I am still in pain and besides the doctor said to wait a minimum of six weeks. I felt bad. Then Hubs kind of started talking about how he doesn't want me to lose myself in this baby and he can kind of see it already. I tried to reassure him that it was just that I was still in pain and extremely tired, that I wasn't acting completely myself yet. Now for the past couple of days hubs has been distant and seems angry. I am trying not to get too upset about it because there are a myriad of reasons why he could be upset.

1. Because he's tired and stressed. He has been running all the errands and chauffeuring, which has been my job. His brother and sister both do not drive yet and his sister does not go to school in our district so she needs to be driven to and picked up from school, work and gymnastics practice, in addition to track on Saturdays and driver's ed on Sundays. And his brother needs to be taken to work, which is only about a mile away but it's been freezing here lately so we're not going to make him walk.
2. He is upset about his mom. Very possible but he will NEVER admit this one, which is ok.
3. He is upset with me about the sex thing. Possible but hopefully and mostly not likely.
4. He is upset about turning 29. A stretch but I'm grasping at straws here.

I did talk to a friend online tonight who is Hubs best friend. He said to just let Hubs deal with whatever is bothering him and he will be ok. I am trying but it is very hard to not have him completely here with me at this time of transition.

Repeat: It will be ok. It will be ok.
posted by ~M~ @ 1:56 AM  
  • At March 21, 2007 at 3:42:00 PM EDT, Blogger Melanie Marie said…

    It also might be jealousy. You have a new person in your life that demands your time an attention.

    I know that its got to be hard but I think it is completly normal. My sister and her husband had the same sort of difficulty with their first child.

    My brother in law also had some huge resistance to change. But the thing is EVERYTHING is going to change. Thats just how it is.

    Its going to take time to figure out your new roles and find balance.

    Geeze, listen to me, like I have any idea what I'm talking about!

    Hang in there and it would probably help to talk to other women who have gone through this stuff!

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